This is how bored I am...

So in an attempt to waste my ample free time today I found my way to this website. Its a great source for all sorts of information you don't need about the 50 states. (For example Minnesota has 87 counties, Utah's motto is "Industry" and the geographic center of Pennsylvania is 2.5 miles southwest of Bellefonte.) But each state has a little saying under its name when you open it up. What exactly do some of these mean?

• Illinois: A Million Miles From Monday
• Connecticut: We're Full Of Surprises
• Alaska: North! To Alaska
• Idaho: Discover Idaho
• Wisconsin: Stay Just A Little Bit Longer
• New Jersey: New Jersey And You Are Perfect Together
• Maryland: So Many Things To Do So Close Together
• New York: I Love New York
• Oregon: Things Look Different Here
• Kentucky: Always In Season
• Texas: It's Like A Whole Other Country
• Virginia: Virginia Is For Lovers

Personally I think Wisconsin sounds a little too desperate to make friends, I don't like the New York East Coast bias and just exactly what looks different in Oregon? Is this different good or different bad?

Who thought these things up? And why? None of these phrases have compelled me to visit these (most likely) fine states (except for Idaho, because I've been there and its butt).

Sigh...

There is a full salad sitting in the recycle bin. It is as if someone made a salad, let it sit around for a day or two and then placed the whole thing on top of the recycle in the bin. PUT IT IN THE GARBAGE!!!!!!

Sorry had to get that out of my system. T-minus 63 day till I can move...

Its around here somewhere...

I have been losing things left, right and center lately. A short list...

• A pair of gloves
• One legwarmer, just one
• One earing, also just one
• A book about Frankfurt
• Chapstick, and no joke, my lips hurt real bad
• Any ability to speak the English language

I'm sure there will be more to add to this later.

Snacky Whaty?

I'm addicted to crack. Sad, but true. Look at this lovely photo I took to show all of you. It says it right there on the front, Snacky Cracky... Furthermore do you see that sketchy man in the corner trying to seduce that poor women, who also looks young enough to be his child, with his snacky cracky. Its just all kinds of wrong. But oh so right... They must contain crack. I can't stop eating them.

Seriously, Seriously, Seriously

Guess who got yet another bill from the cable company for the internet that still never worked?

Sigh...

Exactly what makes my roommates the stupidest people in Germany and possibly the world as a whole

Before I begin I want everyone to know that none of this has been fabricated or exaggerated. My roommates are truthfully stupid filthy losers.

• Just today I came home to find soap in the sink and in splotches all over the counter, however all the same dirty dishes were sitting on the counter where they have been for anywhere between 1 day to 2 weeks. There were no clean dishes anywhere in sight. Which begs the question, What exactly is going on here with all this soap?
• However, if someone were to wash dishes there would be no where to put them because the same dishes have been sitting in the dish drain for about 2 weeks now, probably the last time anyone that is not me did dishes. The dishes in the dish drain have now become the prime fruit fly hangout, personally I would wash them again. Ofcourse they wont since they have enough trouble getting dishes washed in the first place.
• The bottles of oil and the pan that were passive aggressively moved from the counter (where they sat for 1 week) to the floor on or around December 18th are still sitting there.
• Dishes passive aggressively moved from the counter onto the stove on top of a baking sheet a few days ago have now been passive aggressively relocated to the kitchen table where they will probably sit for all of eternity.
• The colander (why a colander?) full of onions (why so many onions?) sitting on the table was covered in fruit flies for about 3 days until someone decided to do something about it. How does my brilliant roommate solve this problem? She puts a cloth over the onions. Honey! Its a colander, its full of holes, infact all those tiny fruit-fly-sized holes is the defining characteristic of a colander. Do you think the fruit flies aren't going to find their way in? Quick check under the cloth... What do you know, fruit flies!
• The whole point of the compost bin, other than the spawning of millions of fruit flies, is to put food garbage in. Why then is there bread, rotting lemons, tea bags and containers of yoghurt sitting out in the open in the recycling bin? Are you trying to make it easier for the fruit flies?

And that's as much ridiculousness that I can bear to list right now. More later...

But seriously what don't the Germans understand about passive aggressive behavior? Ja, passiv aggressiv? Either do something obnoxiously passive aggressive in return or do something with your damn dishes!

My increasing stupidment

Its official. I no longer have an grasp on the English language whatsoever.

Just yesterday I was looking up a German word in the dictionary (Bedrückung) but I couldn't find it, instead I found the corresponding verb (bedrücken) which in English means, to depress/hold down.

So from the verb its easy to figure out what the noun means. The act or state of being depressed/held down. So I take out my little paper with new words on it (look at me actually putting out effort to learn this language) and write down...

Bedrückung = Depressment

It wasn't until about 10 minutes later that I looked at that again and thought. Depressment, depressment... that can't be right.

So I try looking up Depressment in the dictionary and can't find it surprise surprise...I did however find Depression...narf.

And it is only now a full day later that I realized that oppression would have been an even better word. I clearly should never teach English.

The Return of the Walkman

Get it to-get-her Deutschland. Seriously, what's the deal? Welcome to 2006.

Deutschland, 2006. 2006, Deutschland.
Please, get to know one another.

For a country well known for its engineering I simply don't understand how you can be so far behind the game technologically.

I have now spotted two people listening to Walkmans on trains in the last few weeks, and quite frankly that is two too many. I'm not sure what they are thinking but the cassette player is never going to be the 8 Track. It will never be cool again. Let it go. Welcome to the 90's, er...um...Behold 2006!

Yes as I am sitting here on the train typing this on my laptop the poor soul across the aisle from me is popping cassette tapes in to his circa 1986 Walkman.

Where does one even buy cassette tapes anymore or would I be correct to assume that the music he is listening to also comes from the 80's? All too likely.

Shouldn't he be embarrassed to be using that thing in public? I'm not trying to be a music elitist here, I understand iPods are expensive, but a Discman perhaps? He's paying at least 17 Euros for this train ticket right now. If he can afford that then a Discman can't be too far out of his price range. Doesn't a friend of his have a Discman he can have? Are all of his friends just as technologically disadvantaged as he is? Seriously I would give him my old Discman right now if I had it on me. Perhaps he's using his Walkman in public as a cry for help. Somebody help this man!!!

Come on Germany its time we leave the Walkman at home where it belongs. Right next to the Right Said Fred and INXS cassettes.

Christmas or something like it...

Like the wannabe Christmas tree? Tis the season to decorate with paper Christmas trees made by your sisters.

My Bathroom

My Bathroom smells like my roommates peed all over the place before they left for the break.

Just thought I'd share.

(P.S. I'm moving soon, not soon enough though.)

Stupid VVS!!!

Verkehrs Vebund Stuttgart is now on my shit list. Apparently they have decided to ring in the new year by raising the subway tickets. It now cost me €2.90 to get from the Burg into the Gart. Lame! Good Lord thats a lot of money.

On another note however I'm glad that I don't live if Freiburg. They call their public transportation system the VAG. Go ahead sound that one out, not very pretty right? Now sound it out German style, V's sound like F's. Also not the most appropriatee name for city transport.

Anyways I feel much more comfortable complaining about the VVS and not the VAG.

Back in the Burg...

Don't really have the energy right now to recap my vacation, maybe later. I'm going to try and put up pictures tomorrow. But I'm back in the Burg and I'm bored. Call, email or text me!!!! Come on!!! I'm bored!!! You're no fun.