Morgen Morgan

Work or Something Like It...

2008-03-19T16:11:00.000-07:00

Things I did at work today...

Filled out a NCAA bracket even though I haven't watched one single college basketball game this year
Updated my resume and mumble mumble applied for a mumble job mumble
Did the crossword puzzle
Attempted the Sudoku, I couldn't be bothered to finish, I'm not very smart
Chatted online with just about everybody I could harass (a word I'm starting to think that I used too much)
Spent almost 5 full minutes trying to twist the lid onto my coffee mug, again I'm not very smrt
Played the usual 3+ hours of Free Cell
Changed the jug on the water cooler, which is probably the most productive thing I did all day, and yes I pulled several muscles
Looked at lolcats which even I'm starting to get a tad sick of
Wrote this post
Died a little on the inside

Busy day obviously. And I'm gearing up for more of the same tomorrow.

Also I saw another Wie Geht's? plate, this one was WIE G8S, which I'm about 9000% positive is different from the first Wie Geht's? plate I saw. What is UP with Lake Oswego and ZGermans?

Onward and Eugeneward

2008-03-14T15:17:00.000-07:00

Going to Eugene tonight. Very excited, more or less, it'll at least be nice to have plans for the weekend. And I'm over due for some Mr. Bill's Trivia action. Its not the same at Mickey Finn's for some reason.

Here is something completely unrelated now...

I keep seeing stupid license plates here in West Linn where I have the (mis)fortune to work. Some of my favorites:

4TUN8
HUMBL
GR8FL

And don't worry all of these were on ridonkulously expensive cars. Pretty nauseating, huh? I'm keeping my eyes peeled for more, I'm sure they're out there.

However West Linn's evil twin Lake Oswego is home to what are quite possibly the two coolest plates I've ever seen:

GTN TAG
WIEGHTS

Ahh! So cool, I know!

My New Policy

2008-03-11T21:52:00.000-07:00

So I have a new policy and it's called honesty. You might even say it is the best policy. I'm not saying that I'm a liar most of the time and that I've decided to start telling the truth. What I'm saying is that I try to be nice and beat around the bush and I end up paying for it. The truth "hurts" but do you know who it hurts? Everyone else, thats who. The person telling the truth actually comes out on top. We'll see how this works out.

Oh and I <3 Meggie-Poo. Still trying to figure out what I'd do without her. And I'm off to by my jug of self-o-steem... or to cry in the shower ala Tobias.

einatmen...ausatmen...

2008-03-08T16:24:00.000-08:00

Thats all I have to say.

Also I think that the Buffalo Gap needs to be banned. That place seems to be crawling with bosses and guys with less game than the average 7 year old.

And I'm back...

2008-03-07T14:26:00.001-08:00

I was waiting for something to prompt me to write and I finally found it.

Have you ever read the Lake Oswego "Police Blotter"? It's pretty quality. As we all know Lake Oswego is an impoverished town plagued by crime, violence and drugs. Lock your doors and keep your children close! Here are some of the highlights:

2/12/08 1:59 p.m. A caller wanted information about tinting vehicle windows.

2/13/08 11:02 a.m. An injured deer was seen on Iron Mountain Boulevard. An officer found the deer and determined it had a good chance of survival and left it alone.

2/13/08 4:02 p.m. Two females were walking on Pilkington Road and noticed that a man on a bike appeared to be watching them.

2/14/08 9:33 a.m. A low-hanging branch on Westview Drive was hitting the tops of trucks and SUVs.

2/15/08 9:24 a.m. An older female was standing in the intersection of McVey and State Street for 15 minutes.

2/15/08 11:34 a.m. Two cars on Alyssa Terrace were cited for parking more than 12 inches from the curb. Residents are advised to keep a measuring stick in their cars when parking here.

2/15/08 1:34 p.m. Two juveniles were reportedly tossing a ball into traffic. Police couldn’t find the juveniles or the ball.

2/15/08 7:29 p.m. A group of teens were at a park on Fourth Street, hanging out at the picnic table. One came to a person’s door and asked for a condom. The group was playing a game of truth or dare. Sometimes it’s better to tell the truth.

2/13/08 2:36 p.m. A woman said someone had changed her address at the post office.

Is it possible that Lake Oswego exists in some sort of time warp? Would any of these incidents actually qualify as a crime or warrant calling the police in any other city? This certainly backs up what everyone has been saying for years, don't speed in Lake Oswego because the police have nothing better to do than pull you over.

I swore it would never happen...

2007-06-26T16:15:00.001-07:00

So I have to admit to two things that I thought would never ever happen. First... I bought Crocs. Really, I never thought this would happen. I've hated Crocs forever. Then I saw the Mary Janes and they're really cute. And they're comfortable. And I wouldn't mind having a second pair in pink. Obviously this is how it starts. Before you know it I'm going to be one of those people who thinks Crocs are appropriate for every occasion.

Okay this one is a bit more embarrassing. But there are these weddings this summer and I've got to wear dresses to several events and well I happen to like chocolate and beer and food in general too much to worry about trying to lose those "five extra pounds" that I wouldn't even consider "extra" if there weren't these weddings. That sentence was a bit of a run-on but I'm not in grade school anymore so we're gonna let it slide. Anyways, the package claimed I'd look 10 pounds lighter in 10 seconds. We'll see how well it works. I just hope this doesn't mean I am one step closer to becoming Bridget Jones. Except I will take Colin Firth.

The wheels on the bus go round and round...

2007-06-22T18:52:00.000-07:00

Remember when field trips on yellow school buses were fun? Everyone fought to sit over the wheels or in the little half seat in the back of the bus that you could have all to yourself? You'd sit with your friends, make too much noise and try to get passing truck drivers to honk you. Fun, huh? Yeah those days are over. I had the misfortune of riding on a school bus this week for the first time in at least 8 years and it was nervousing. (Yes I know that's not a word, but it should be.)

School buses are not what they used to be. Now they are little more than big yellow death traps on wheels. It certainly didn't help that the bus driver couldn't have been more than 15. Don't you at least have to have a licence to drive a bus full of children? Also I think he had his 13 year old girlfriend riding shot gun. Do their parents know they stole the keys?

I was also very comforted by the fact that he had to ask how to get back to the camp from OMSI. Uh, isn't that sorta what you're paid to do? Drive a bus from point A to point B and then, oh I don't know, back again!? Right.... And lucky for all of us the best way back involved the Ross Island Bridge and the awful merge you have to make onto Powell. At least it seems that other drivers hit their brakes when they see a bus pull out in front of them.

Back to the bus though... In case anyone was wondering school buses still look like this on the inside. They are still filthy. The same lame graffiti is still written on the back of the seats. They still have the same first aid kit hanging by the stairs, which by the way, I am almost certain is either empty or full of band-aids from the 60's. And the windows are still entirely impossible to open. Isn't there even a Seinfeld bit about that? Maybe I just made that up, anyways there should be if there isn't.

But mayhaps the most exciting revelation of the whole trip was realizing that the little light box up above the driver actually serves a purpose. I specifically remember watching that light box as a child and wondering what the hell it was for. Why the lights were lighting up when they did? Was there some sort of pattern? A secret meaning behind the lights? That light box is a brilliant invention. It is there to calm the nerves of anyone on the bus who drives, is paying attention and happens to not enjoy careening across I-5 on the Marquam Bridge in a bus going 60. The lights show you when the driver is or is not using his breaks, is or is not signaling and when death is or is not mere moments away. Thanks little light box! You made the bus right slightly more manageable...

Working hard or harldy working?

2007-06-18T20:03:00.001-07:00

So working wasn't half bad. Essentially I got paid to go to camp. I liked story time the best! Hopefully tomorrow I can hear how the story ends. I'd say I was kidding but anyone who knows me probably already knows that I'm 100% serious. If I could get away with reading juvenile lit I'd be reading the Boxcar Children right now. Or Little House on the Prairie. Hell I might actually re-read that just because.

And on a completely unrelated note this is the funniest picture ever.

I'm in lurve with this website.

Work(ing for the man)

2007-06-17T21:33:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow will be my first full day of work in just short of forevah. Wish me luck! Here's to becoming an adult...

Oh and I have to wear a shirt that is the ugliest shade of beige I have ever seen. Hence the new quote.

Gradumawation

2007-06-15T22:46:00.000-07:00

Am I supposed to be proud of myself? Because I'm not. Majoring in German is quite possibly the most ridiculous decision I've made in... well, quite some time. Paying 80 bucks for an N'sync concert is up there though.

It's a bad sign when the German office manager asks you what you plan on doing with your degree and your only response is some sort of explosive noise of laughter and disgust. It's even worse when he laughs and tells you "That sounds about right." Then he went on to tell me that it's a good thing I'm a double major. Uhh, awkward moment of silence...

He followed this up by telling me that just having "the ol' sheepskin" will open up a lot of doors. Nice save. I hope he's not joking. I have been told this by a few other people so there must be some element of truth to it. All I'm hoping is that I fall ass-backwards into something that pays moderately well before too long.

So basically I'm very excited to graduate tomorrow and even more excited to start paying off my student loans. Oh well, I guess its too late to change my mind now and in my own defense if I had it to do over I'd most likely make the same choices. Maybe I should just be happy to have had the chance to waste four years having fun, meeting cool people and studying something I enjoy. Right?

I'm dunskies!

2007-06-13T18:06:00.000-07:00

I'm done. 100%, completely, entirely and fully done, fertig, gefinished.

Uh, now what?

I feel like the fish at the end of Finding Nemo. You know, they make their escape and there they are floating in the harbor. So here I am floating in a bag of water in the harbor. How was that for a deep analogy of my life?

What the hell am I supposed to do now? This is as far as I've planned (which I'm cool with) because I'm starting to think plans are overrated. Or maybe I'm just telling myself that because I have no idea what I'm doing.

But really shouldn't having no plans be a good thing? It doesn't mean I'm going to do nothing, it means I could do anything. (How was that for deep?) Also I do have plans, sort of. I'm working for the summer and then hopefully going to Switzerland. Then who knows...

And now for some quotes I found... don't worry they aren't too sappy. I don't do sappy quotes.

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. --Elbert Hubbard

Expect nothing, live frugally on surprise. --Alice Walker

Life is a succession of moments. To live each one is to succeed. --Corita Kent

Live your life and forget your age. --Norman Vincent Peale

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on. --Robert Frost

Men, for the sake of getting a living, forget to live. --Margaret Fuller

Oh the awkward things I do!

2007-06-11T19:54:00.001-07:00

Note to self: Next time take off your sunglasses before trying to put your sweatshirt on because its just plain embarrassing getting stuck in your sweatshirt because you can't fit your huge sunglassed head through the neck. It's also embarrassing when you're in a very public place, say in front of the library surrounded by tons of people because come on small children can dress themselves I shouldn't be having this much trouble.

Proof that this is a common problem for me:

Ode to Eugene

2007-06-10T11:28:00.000-07:00

Things I'll miss about Eugene:

dutch bros and cafe roma coffee
"crack bagels" from Market of Choice
the opportunity to annoy my brother on a daily basis
not having to stop for yellow lights
dance parties in Emily's parents' kitchen... Tiny Dancer anyone?
the dollar theater
going to bingo night week after week at Eugene City Brewery even though I never ever win
the Glenwood's omelettes
Ducks games
all the crazy people that hang around campus
the Knight Library
the lawn in front of the library, even though they put that obelisk up
idk, my bff bella
Burrito Boy's muy delicioso burritos
and in general all the shenanigans that go along with being in college

Things I won't miss about Eugene:

ants
meth-heads
the fact that a yellow light doesn't mean stop it means there is still enough time for you and the 16 cars behind you to get through the intersection
allergies
constantly being confused by the streets downtown
Taylor's, and the people who frequent Taylor's
Massey Auto commercials... Finance it!
in fact all local commercials
and the local news, even though it is kinda fun to watch just to see how far into the broadcast they can make it without messing up, usually about 15 seconds
Friendly Hall and all the mind-numbing hours I've spent there
bad cellphone reception
all the streets that probably should have been repaved about 12 years ago

I'm sure there's more... I might add to this later.

This one is for Lindsey(bella)

2007-06-06T23:03:00.000-07:00

Hope you enjoy...

So I'm watching Dane Cook's Vicious Circle DVD for the second time. Its not that funny. So why am I watching it again you might ask? Basically because I live my life by Arrested Development quotes and "It never hurts to double check."

And so yeah, not that funny. Mostly he thinks he's really funny, which makes him much less funny than he otherwise would be. He's like Jimmy Fallon who could never make it through one single Weekend Update on SNL without laughing about how funny he thinks he's being. Get over yourself. We get it you're funny. You talk, I'll laugh.

See this, among a plethora of other reasons, is why I'm not a comedian. I can't say things that I think are funny without laughing hysterically. Which is probably why people don't think I'm as funny as I think I am. If they could only hear what I'm trying to say, well then they'd be laughing too.

Jim Gaffigan however is funny. Very, very funny... YouTube him if you aren't already aware of how funny he is. I can't program a VCR, I'm here to help. Where would you like me to stand terrified? Because that will be my contribution.

Also if I were a comedian I wouldn't spell it comedienne. Because thats just stupid.

Huzzah!

2007-06-05T18:05:00.000-07:00

So I finished my Kafka paper and I have to say, even though it's going to sound incredibly pretentious, my high school English teacher was right when she said Metamorphosis is only worth reading in German. Perhaps from now on when people ask my why I chose to study German I should tell them I did it so that I could read Die Verwandlung. Seriously I hated it as much as humanly possible, if not more, when I had to read it in high school and now its without a doubt my favorite thing I've read all year.

My favorite thing? Is that right? Should it be the favorite thing? No that would sound worse. Perhaps I should have said "it was the best thing I've read all year." Yeah that would have been much better. I'd go back and change it but... well then we'd lose this fantastic side note.

Here's another one. The more fluent I become in German the more my English suffers. Is this normal? A few weeks ago I wrote my first paper in English in ages and actually had to look up German words to figure out what English words I wanted to use. That is not good. Is there a reason we can't introduce behaupten to the English language? Pretty much it was a poorly articulated paper full of misused prepositions and grammatical errors. But by far the gem of the paper was: "Shakespeare is an effective playwright because he effectively affects the audience." Still got an A though! Good thing I switched the class to Pass/No Pass because I was convinced I was gonna fail.

Is it possible that I am stupider and more ill prepared for life after 4 years of college than I was after leaving high school. Weep... Who wants to hire me? Ich spreche Deutsch!

I feel a list coming on:

2007-06-04T21:10:00.000-07:00

Things I would rather do than write my final German papers:

Anything.
Staple things together. No this isn't some sort of clever Jack Johnson reference. I have absolutely no idea what that song is about but I genuinely like stapling things together. Is that normal? Don't like calling it bad weather though. (That was a reference.)
Listen to unplayed music in iTunes, because it makes me feel like I'm accomplishing something, even though I'm obviously avoiding accomplishing things just to listen to the Trainspotting soundtrack/Ween/Norwegian hip-hop. I'm down to 1.3 hours, which means I need some new new music. Any suggestions?
Drink daiquiris.
Brush up on my African nations. I'm still missing 15, but mostly because I can't spell those countries correctly, not because I don't know about them.
There's also this link which is yet another über cool way to waste time. I may or may not have forgotten Iran, Iraq, Pakistan, Afghanistan... pretty much the entire Middle East. Whoops...
Argh I wanted to get to 10 but I don't think that's gonna happen. I'm a bit distracted and I blame the daiquiri. I should probably just go to bed. How is it 10 already?
Anyways (yes I know that 's' doesn't technically belong) I'm just gonna keep on writing till I get to 10.
Hmmm I could do laundry, that would be more fun than my paper.
P.S. 11 days and 15 hours till graduation.

Sorry this list turned out to be so lame. I'll try harder next time. Maybe.

ugh...

2007-06-02T20:17:00.000-07:00

I ate too much, curse you Dough Co. and your Pesto Chicken Calzone. Now we're watching Star Wars. Boo. I've only seen parts of the original three so pretty much I don't care about number one at all. But in general I'm thrilled to be part of Gillian's trilithon. Who doesn't like watching trilogies? It'd be fun to watch the Terminator trilogy, or um, pretty much anything besides Star Wars.

Its Saturday, I should be having fun. Weep. I spent the better part of my day in the library working on my various papers... got one of them done, but still have two to go. Actually I am having fun but basically that says more about my pathetic life than anything else.

Yes! The projector crapped out... maybe I can convince my friends to do something cool... laters.

I'm Bach...

2007-06-01T13:47:00.000-07:00

You can be Mozart. And together we're gonna try this again. It's been a while but I think I'm gonna try this whole blog thing out again. Could be interesting/fun/a waste of time or all three. Either way its bound to work better now that I actually have internet.

Hmmm... I guess this is pretty short, but baby steps.

They're all just jealous!

2006-07-18T02:29:00.000-07:00

So what you have a pirate party, and then an M party (everyone has to dress up as something that starts with the letter M) and then an Aladdin party and suddenly everyone thinks your a bit strange.

Somebody asked us last week if we were capable of having a non-themed party. So now we're thinking the next theme party should be, "This party has no theme." That or we were thinking a mime party. How creepy would it be to see 20 people all hanging out in black with white face paint?

But honestly they're just jealous. They wish their costume-less BBQs could be half as cool as our costume-erific ones. You should see the looks we get.

The M party was the best however. Its perfectly normal to dress up as Miss Piggy, Marshall Mathers with measles, a Mule, a Mummy, Marijuana, a Marine or like me a bottle of water (trust me it fit the theme). If only I could post pictures...

Football isn't coming home...

2006-07-06T07:26:00.000-07:00

Stupid Italy.

One corner kick and suddenly I'm out a pitcher of beer and the opportunity to dress up in black, red and yellow and pretend I'm German.

I even had dem Herz in der Hand and der Leidenshaft im Bein. I guess there is always 2010.

But mathematically speaking Germany should have won. Deutschland won the cup in 1954, 1974 and 1990.

54 X 74 - 1990 = 2006

I'm not kidding you, check the math for yourself if you want.

I suppose it really is my own damn fault...

2006-06-21T01:41:00.000-07:00

I've got my second World Cup injury.

So the first injury wasn't so embarrassing just a bit pathetic. I watched two soccer games on one day slouched down in a couch and ended up with a bruised neck. Not so bad, I recovered quite quickly.

Yesterday injury is a bit more shameful.

We went into Stuttgart to watch the game with thousands of other drunk sweating soccer fans and after spending a good 4 hours in the sun and watching Germany win 3-0 over Ecuador we decided it was time for a little fountain swimming...

Let me clarify before anyone asks. I was not drunk. I may have split a full bottle of Malibu with my roommate before 2pm in the afternoon but this was around 6 and therefore I was not drunk. I was not drunk.

I highly recommend fountain swimming with other rabid soccer fans after a German win, but I don't recommend belly flops. The first one went well. The second one...

I managed to plow head first, or shall I say nose first into the piping on the bottom of the fountain. Hurt like a mother. And now I have a bruised nose, and forehead... and I managed to bruise my arms somehow.

Okay maybe I was still a little bit drunk.

Anyways... Go Deutschland!!!

Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner of Champions

2006-06-14T01:10:00.000-07:00

I realized yesterday that for the last month and a half I've pretty much only eaten chocolate and pizza and only had coffee and alcohol to drink...

Maybe I should try eating some fruit.

My life is not entirely bohemian...

2006-06-12T02:24:00.000-07:00

I shower, occasionally. I don't have a mangy dog that follows me every where and I don't play hackysack all day long in Pioneer Courthouse Square. But I'm sure if I just apply myself I'll be there shortly.

Actually today I have many important things to do. Australia plays Japan. The US plays Czech. Someother country plays someother country. I have yet another Pirate Party to attend. (For those of you who are counting I do believe this is Pirate Party number 4... or 5. I've lost count.)

Those of you who have shitty jobs and are looking for other slightly less shitty jobs, if it makes you feel better I have lots of school work that I should be doing. That and I'm exactly one year away from having a useless German degree and then I will too be working at a shitty job looking for another slightly less shitty job.

But until then I'm going to play Frisbee and drink beer...

Sorry...

2006-06-09T03:54:00.000-07:00

Yeah so I haven't posted in approximately forever and I was sorta hoping no one would notice. No such luck. So here I am...

See the actual reason I stopped posting is because I realized that my life is far too boring to write about.

I have however stopped laying on the kitchen floor all day... I've moved myself outside. I now lay on the grass like a civilized person.

No joke yesterday one of the other students here commented on how we're always in the exact same place on the lawn. We spent about six hours out on the grass yesterday. About two hours of which I spent playing Solitaire because I'm just that anti-social, I watched Montana Lyle throw a knife at a tree for about 45 minutes, watched Stephan lay on the grass in the fetal position pretty much the whole day with a hang over, ate some chocolate, drank some Pepsi ... wild times, no?

In much more exciting news the World Cup starts today! deutSCHLAND! deutSCHLAND! deutSCHLAND! Here's to a month of required beer drinking and TV watching. Man my life is hard...

What day is it again?

2006-03-26T03:46:00.000-08:00

Ten signs that I have way too much free time here in Germany...

I can spend hours reading and sometimes even rereading the same trashy celebrity gossip magazines, that are not only more than a year old, but are also from Australia. Embarrassingly enough the magazine is just as interesting the second time through, which might have something to do with my goldfish memory.
I've rediscovered my love for laying (or is it lying?) on kitchen floors.
I willingly rented and watched Elizabethtown and wasn't entirely disappointed, but only because there is a 15 second shot of Portland in the beginning. (Orlando Bloom works for a giant shoe company named Mercury, owned by a man named Phil with a huge campus just outside of Portland. That's funny, it sort of reminds me of this other giant shoe company named Nike, also owned by a man named Phil, that also has a huge campus just outside of Portland. I'm sure its just a coincidence...)
I can't remember what day it is for more than 2 hours.
I've been awaiting the ripening of the avocado I bought three days ago like a kid waits for Christmas.
Making dinner is often the most exciting part of the day.
Looking up Whoopi Goldberg on imdb.com is actually an activity that can pass the time.
Talking about what a top athlete I am still hasn't gotten old. I've actually put my free time to good use and started running.
Reading ESPN online is is an exciting way to spend an afternoon.
And I can't even come up with a number 10 because I'm now so pathetic and have so much free time I can't even be bothered to get up off the kitchen floor and get dressed most days.