Work or Something Like It...

Things I did at work today...

• Filled out a NCAA bracket even though I haven't watched one single college basketball game this year
• Updated my resume and mumble mumble applied for a mumble job mumble
• Did the crossword puzzle
• Attempted the Sudoku, I couldn't be bothered to finish, I'm not very smart
• Chatted online with just about everybody I could harass (a word I'm starting to think that I used too much)
• Spent almost 5 full minutes trying to twist the lid onto my coffee mug, again I'm not very smrt
• Played the usual 3+ hours of Free Cell
• Changed the jug on the water cooler, which is probably the most productive thing I did all day, and yes I pulled several muscles
• Looked at lolcats which even I'm starting to get a tad sick of
• Wrote this post
• Died a little on the inside

Busy day obviously. And I'm gearing up for more of the same tomorrow.

Also I saw another Wie Geht's? plate, this one was WIE G8S, which I'm about 9000% positive is different from the first Wie Geht's? plate I saw. What is UP with Lake Oswego and ZGermans?

Onward and Eugeneward

Going to Eugene tonight. Very excited, more or less, it'll at least be nice to have plans for the weekend. And I'm over due for some Mr. Bill's Trivia action. Its not the same at Mickey Finn's for some reason.

Here is something completely unrelated now...

I keep seeing stupid license plates here in West Linn where I have the (mis)fortune to work. Some of my favorites:

• 4TUN8
• HUMBL
• GR8FL

And don't worry all of these were on ridonkulously expensive cars. Pretty nauseating, huh? I'm keeping my eyes peeled for more, I'm sure they're out there.

However West Linn's evil twin Lake Oswego is home to what are quite possibly the two coolest plates I've ever seen:

• GTN TAG
• WIEGHTS

Ahh! So cool, I know!

My New Policy

So I have a new policy and it's called honesty. You might even say it is the best policy. I'm not saying that I'm a liar most of the time and that I've decided to start telling the truth. What I'm saying is that I try to be nice and beat around the bush and I end up paying for it. The truth "hurts" but do you know who it hurts? Everyone else, thats who. The person telling the truth actually comes out on top. We'll see how this works out.

Oh and I <3 Meggie-Poo. Still trying to figure out what I'd do without her. And I'm off to by my jug of self-o-steem... or to cry in the shower ala Tobias.

einatmen...ausatmen...

Thats all I have to say.

Also I think that the Buffalo Gap needs to be banned. That place seems to be crawling with bosses and guys with less game than the average 7 year old.

And I'm back...

I was waiting for something to prompt me to write and I finally found it.

Have you ever read the Lake Oswego "Police Blotter"? It's pretty quality. As we all know Lake Oswego is an impoverished town plagued by crime, violence and drugs. Lock your doors and keep your children close! Here are some of the highlights:

2/12/08 1:59 p.m. A caller wanted information about tinting vehicle windows.

2/13/08 11:02 a.m. An injured deer was seen on Iron Mountain Boulevard. An officer found the deer and determined it had a good chance of survival and left it alone.

2/13/08 4:02 p.m. Two females were walking on Pilkington Road and noticed that a man on a bike appeared to be watching them.

2/14/08 9:33 a.m. A low-hanging branch on Westview Drive was hitting the tops of trucks and SUVs.

2/15/08 9:24 a.m. An older female was standing in the intersection of McVey and State Street for 15 minutes.

2/15/08 11:34 a.m. Two cars on Alyssa Terrace were cited for parking more than 12 inches from the curb. Residents are advised to keep a measuring stick in their cars when parking here.

2/15/08 1:34 p.m. Two juveniles were reportedly tossing a ball into traffic. Police couldn’t find the juveniles or the ball.

2/15/08 7:29 p.m. A group of teens were at a park on Fourth Street, hanging out at the picnic table. One came to a person’s door and asked for a condom. The group was playing a game of truth or dare. Sometimes it’s better to tell the truth.

2/13/08 2:36 p.m. A woman said someone had changed her address at the post office.

Is it possible that Lake Oswego exists in some sort of time warp? Would any of these incidents actually qualify as a crime or warrant calling the police in any other city? This certainly backs up what everyone has been saying for years, don't speed in Lake Oswego because the police have nothing better to do than pull you over.

I swore it would never happen...

So I have to admit to two things that I thought would never ever happen. First... I bought Crocs. Really, I never thought this would happen. I've hated Crocs forever. Then I saw the Mary Janes and they're really cute. And they're comfortable. And I wouldn't mind having a second pair in pink. Obviously this is how it starts. Before you know it I'm going to be one of those people who thinks Crocs are appropriate for every occasion.


Okay this one is a bit more embarrassing. But there are these weddings this summer and I've got to wear dresses to several events and well I happen to like chocolate and beer and food in general too much to worry about trying to lose those "five extra pounds" that I wouldn't even consider "extra" if there weren't these weddings. That sentence was a bit of a run-on but I'm not in grade school anymore so we're gonna let it slide. Anyways, the package claimed I'd look 10 pounds lighter in 10 seconds. We'll see how well it works. I just hope this doesn't mean I am one step closer to becoming Bridget Jones. Except I will take Colin Firth.

The wheels on the bus go round and round...

Remember when field trips on yellow school buses were fun? Everyone fought to sit over the wheels or in the little half seat in the back of the bus that you could have all to yourself? You'd sit with your friends, make too much noise and try to get passing truck drivers to honk you. Fun, huh? Yeah those days are over. I had the misfortune of riding on a school bus this week for the first time in at least 8 years and it was nervousing. (Yes I know that's not a word, but it should be.)

School buses are not what they used to be. Now they are little more than big yellow death traps on wheels. It certainly didn't help that the bus driver couldn't have been more than 15. Don't you at least have to have a licence to drive a bus full of children? Also I think he had his 13 year old girlfriend riding shot gun. Do their parents know they stole the keys?

I was also very comforted by the fact that he had to ask how to get back to the camp from OMSI. Uh, isn't that sorta what you're paid to do? Drive a bus from point A to point B and then, oh I don't know, back again!? Right.... And lucky for all of us the best way back involved the Ross Island Bridge and the awful merge you have to make onto Powell. At least it seems that other drivers hit their brakes when they see a bus pull out in front of them.

Back to the bus though... In case anyone was wondering school buses still look like this on the inside. They are still filthy. The same lame graffiti is still written on the back of the seats. They still have the same first aid kit hanging by the stairs, which by the way, I am almost certain is either empty or full of band-aids from the 60's. And the windows are still entirely impossible to open. Isn't there even a Seinfeld bit about that? Maybe I just made that up, anyways there should be if there isn't.

But mayhaps the most exciting revelation of the whole trip was realizing that the little light box up above the driver actually serves a purpose. I specifically remember watching that light box as a child and wondering what the hell it was for. Why the lights were lighting up when they did? Was there some sort of pattern? A secret meaning behind the lights? That light box is a brilliant invention. It is there to calm the nerves of anyone on the bus who drives, is paying attention and happens to not enjoy careening across I-5 on the Marquam Bridge in a bus going 60. The lights show you when the driver is or is not using his breaks, is or is not signaling and when death is or is not mere moments away. Thanks little light box! You made the bus right slightly more manageable...